How to Make Good Decisions

Wisdom for the seven most important decisions you'll ever make

Since this is the time of year that people are making decisions for the next year, I’ve put together this simple guide to decision making.

There are at least seven major decisions that everyone will make at some point in their lives. Getting these decisions right will set you up to enjoy God’s blessings, though no decision guarantees blessing. The world is fallen, after all. But the book of Proverbs teaches principles about the way things generally are in the world, though there are exceptions.

Making Wise Decisions

One’s overall misery or happiness in life can often be traced to a few fork-in-the-road kind of decisions. Good decision making comes from applying biblical principles to real-world situations where we must choose between multiple options.

Sometimes, it’s a simple binary choice between a righteous option and an evil option. Most of the time, however, life isn’t like that. In most situations, our choices fall along a continuum of morally acceptable options with some being better than others. To put it differently, the wise man will learn to navigate a world of ambiguity. He determines his first principles that govern the competing options set before him.

For example, someone in a rural community might have a “just OK” church close to home or an excellent church an hour away. Either church is morally acceptable, but is the extra drive to the excellent church worth it? If so, what’s the limit? This isn’t a matter of sin vs. righteousness. It’s a matter of working through the trade-offs that attend two acceptable options.

Three Keystone Decisions of the Christian Life

Every person must make at least three critical decisions that will determine much of their success in life. I call these “keystone decisions.” A keystone is a wedge-shaped stone at the top of a stone arch. It’s the final stone set in place during construction and it locks all the other stones into position, allowing the structure to bear weight.

Keystone life decisions are load bearing decisions that stabilize your life, determine your options for future decisions, and set your life on particular trajectory. These three keystone decisions are (1) Master, (2) Mission, and (3) Mate.

1. Master: Who/what do you serve?

The decision to submit your life to Jesus Christ as Lord and Master is the ultimate keystone decision.

Proverbs declares, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge” (Proverbs 1:7). In Proverbs 31, the excellent woman is praised for her fear of the Lord, which forms the bedrock of her life. Jesus Himself affirms this priority in Matthew 6:33: “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

If Christ is not the savior and Lord of your life, you will not know true wisdom, because all true wisdom is derived from God himself.

2. Mission: What Is Your Life’s Purpose?

Life is not just about what we do, but why we do it. When people think of their life’s “mission,” they often think of their career. But one’s mission should be greater than that. The word “career” implies a job, but people change jobs all the time, even moving from one type of job to a totally different one.

Rather than thinking of a job, think of your mission as your life’s work. Your job fits into that, but your job cannot fully encompass your mission in life. Work is different from a career. A career only encompasses the work you get paid for. You may find that the most important work you do is unpaid work. Thus, one’s career is an important part of one’s mission, and can even be the primary funding mechanism for one’s mission, but the mission itself should be higher than the career.

For Christians, there is no greater work than the work we do building up our households. Our careers are important, but never more important than family. You can see this illustrated with the Proverbs 31 mother. She exemplifies a clear sense of mission. Her purpose drives her actions, whether she is managing her household, serving her family, or extending generosity to the poor. Her life is a tapestry of intentionality and diligence, reflecting her mission to honor God and serve others.

3. Mate: Who will you accomplish your mission with?

The choice of a spouse is another keystone decision with profound implications. Proverbs 31:10-12 highlights the blessing of a godly marriage, where husband and wife share mutual trust, honor, and alignment in their mission. Verse 10 says, “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.”

The right mate complements your mission, because you’re pursuing it together. A good marriage is a partnership where husband and wife are pursuing the same mission objectives together.

Choosing a spouse wisely requires spiritual discernment and a commitment to shared priorities. Marrying someone who does not share your biblical faith or values can create division, but a union centered on Christ brings harmony and strength.

Four Corollary Decisions

Once the keystone decisions are in place, there are four other significant decisions that you’ll face sometime in your life. These decisions influence our daily lives and are shaped by the priorities established through the keystone decisions.

1. What is your primary work?

Most people will spend more of their waking hours at work than anywhere else. Proverbs 22:29 says, “Do you see a man skillful in his work? He will stand before kings; he will not stand before obscure men.” Your work is not just a means of earning a living but a platform to glorify God and contribute to His kingdom.

Typically, men are financially compensated for their work. The work of mothers, however is not financially compensated, even though the work of tending to a home and children is supremely valuable. A mother’s work is compensated with the intangible benefits of love, legacy, and a lifetime of memories with her children and family. No amount of money in the world can purchase these priceless joys.

Wise men and women will take this into account early in life and prepare accordingly. A young man should prepare himself to be a provide for his future family financially. He should choose career fields that will ensure he can provide financial security for his wife and children. A young woman should avoid going into debt for college, because those debts will have to be paid. Whatever time she devotes to a career to pay off those debts will be time she cannot devote to her family. If she’s married, she will either delay childbearing until the debts are paid, or she will utilize day cares or similar arrangements that also cost money, further delaying her from staying home with her children.

2. What church will you belong to?

The church you belong to profoundly shapes your spiritual growth and relationships. Proverbs 13:20 teaches, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise.” A Christ-centered church provides wisdom, accountability, and fellowship, equipping you to live faithfully and serve others.

People will move across the country for a job, or school, or even to marry the right man or woman. But people will rarely relocate to be near a good church. I’ve known many people over the years who move away from my church because of a job change, and they always assume “I’ll find a good church when I get there.” Unfortunately, that’s not a safe assumption these days. There are lots of churches out there, but few of them are solid on the fundamentals of the faith.

The church you belong to is arguably the single most important factor that determines your spiritual health. Why? Because spiritual formation happens in community, and many church communities are spiritually sick. They are starved of God’s word and doctrinally compromised.

As much as it is possible, settle your family near a solid church where you will be formed by a healthy, spiritual eco-system that is rooted in Christ and the truth of his word.

This leads me to the next point.

3. Where will you live?

Where you live impacts your access to relationships, opportunities, and ministry. Proverbs 27:10 advises, “Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother who is far away.” Proximity to people and resources you value is critical for maintaining strong relationships and fulfilling your mission.

In our day, we have incredible ability to stay connected to family with phone calls, text messages, and social media. But don’t let that fool you. One of the biggest life hacks is simply living close to your family.

My wife and I life 2.5 hours from my family and 3.5 hours from her family. At that distance, seeing family always requires a pre-planned, overnight trip. We can’t just pop over for dinner one night. They can’t just show up at the kids’ ballgames. We can’t drop the kids off at grandma’s house for a few hours while we run errands. If you’ve got a decent relationship with your family and you live near them, that’s an invaluable support system that will pay major dividends down the road.

4. What are your financial priorities? How will you spend money?

Financial decisions, especially those involving debt, can have long-term consequences. Proverbs 22:7 warns, “The borrower is the slave of the lender.” Wise financial stewardship requires balancing resources and priorities, avoiding unnecessary burdens that could compromise your mission or values.

I’ll save the financial advice for other people who are more qualified to do so. My point here is simply that good financial decisions can set you up for success, but bad financial decisions can lead you to ruin. You can get all of the above decisions right, but still come to ruin if you don’t learn how to manage money wisely.

Grace for Our Failures

Despite our best efforts, we often fall short in decision-making. Whether through ignorance, haste, or external circumstances, we may face consequences that linger. But God’s grace meets us in our failures. His sovereignty ensures that even our mistakes are woven into His redemptive plan.

If you’ve screwed up one or more of the above decisions, the grace of Christ is available in abundance. We still have to live with the earthly consequences of our poor decisions, but God’s grace covers our sins and assures us that we are forgiven and counted righteous in Christ.

Wisdom is a skill, not a guarantee of perfect outcomes. Life is unpredictable, and the results of even wise decisions can surprise us. Yet, as we seek God’s wisdom and rest in His grace, we can trust that He is working all things for His glory and our good.