The Goal of Parenting Small Children
A big moment 18 years in the making
What’s the goal of parenting small children?
Of all the things you could say, certainly, raising them to be good adults is at the top of the list.
It’s easy to forget this when they're little. My wife gave birth to four kids in five years. We were so busy and exhausted that getting through each day with our sanity intact felt like a major victory. We laugh at the fact that we barely remember our youngest son’s first two years.
Sometimes I’d look at them when they were babies and think about all the wonder and potential locked up in their tiny little brains. Then it would hit me that God has entrusted them to us for a few exhausted years before releasing them into the world.
First time parents are inexperienced. You discover things along the way you wish you'd done differently, especially when your mistakes are revealed by your kids' behavior. In those moments, it’s tempting to think your window of opportunity has passed and there’s nothing you can do now.
FALSE.
Just like a football coach, good parents make in-game adjustments.
Listen to what Proverbs 19:18 says: “Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death.” That last phrase is funny. The father in Proverbs gets it. Raising little kids is hard, frustrating, tiring, and discouraging. Sometimes, you’ll be tempted to give up hope. Don't do it.
When you feel this way, “do not set your heart on putting [them] to death.” It’s a joke that only parents will get. Don’t fret about your out-of-control children and think “I’m gonna kill these crazy kids!”
Rather, “discipline your son, for there is hope.” In other words, keep after it. Discipline is not merely an act of family justice. "Action, meet consequence."
Rather, discipline is an act of hope. Hope that imposing temporary pain on the child will produce positive change in the long run.
My oldest child is now eighteen years old. We dropped her off at college last week. This is huge milestone, and I wasn’t quite ready for the emotions of the moment. My wife and I sat with her on the floor of her dorm room, praying and crying together. We didn’t want to leave and she didn’t want us to either.
But those tears were a mixture of sadness and joy. Sadness about leaving her there, but joy about the godly young woman she’s become. She is the Christian adult we've been trusting God for for 18 years.
This was the goal all along.
God’s Good Design Audiobook To Be Released Soon
I’ve finished recording the audiobook version of God’s Good Design, and I’m hoping it will be made available soon on Audible. There’s a strong chance the audiobook will also be available on Canon+ at the same time, which would be great exposure for the book.
I recorded it myself in our church’s loft area that’s been converted into a studio. It sounds great. I’m excited to share it with you.
More Great Feedback and Reviews of God’s Good Design
Now that God’s Good Design has been out for a couple of months, some encouraging feedback and reviews are coming in.
It’s so gratifying to see a project I’ve labored over for so long come to fruition and then to be blessed knowing God is using it to help others. This is the book I wish I had five years ago, but it didn’t exist, so I wrote it myself. Hearing this feedback means a lot because this is such an urgently needed subject for Christians to understand. Here’s some examples.
One of my friends posted this on Twitter:
One Amazon reviewer said:
When I sat down to read this book, I fully expected to agree with the Biblical views on gender, and I did. What I did not expect to find was a beautiful recounting of the Gospel from Genesis to Revelation through the lens of human sexuality. This carefully woven presentation opened my eyes to perspectives and truths that I had not considered in many years in church.
My favorite chapter in the book is “The Blueprint for the Household.” Beginning with the household that God set up in the Garden of Eden, Michael navigates the Scriptures cohesively to show us the Biblical model for today’s household. Invaluable lessons not only for marriages, but for understanding OT scripture…
Chapter 5 should be required reading for all young singles, where Michael explains how “gendered, Christian virtue is oriented towards fatherhood and motherhood” (in the context of the Biblical household, pg 113). Here, distortions of masculinity and femininity are examined along with the cultural call toward androgyny.
Because sexuality is part of God’s design for humanity, its significance is both theological and practical. To be clear, there is no shortness of practicality in this book! Using plain language and personal stories, Clary communicates clearly the dangers we are facing as a society. He educates the reader (which was valuable for me) and presents Biblical truth in a straightforward manner. You will not walk away from this book wondering “How did we get here?”; “Where are we now?”; or “What is the Gospel response?”. This biblical primer on human sexuality is a valuable tool not only pastors and elders, but for laymen as well. I highly recommend it.
This feedback came via email. He said:
I would love to thank you in person but since you are in Ohio and I’m in the [redacted] area, that’s not realistic. However, if I could thank you via a three minute phone call, that would make my day.
I’m on page 88 of your book, “God’s Good Design” and I’m in awe of what I’m reading. I have been a Christian for 47 years (I’m 57) and I attended Bible College and even was on staff and the things you share in your book I have never heard taught ever before. Especially, in the cesspool world of sin, perversion and immorality we live in, your book is timely and for such a time as this.
One last thing
My publisher helped set expectations for the book. Since I’m a relatively unknown author, book sales will grow slowly and mostly by word of mouth. So if you’re willing to help with that, here’s three things you can do.